Proverbs 18:2
“A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinion.”
TL;DR:
It’s easier to air opinions than to listen, but wisdom comes from first seeking to understand others. Understanding reduces conflict, softens our hearts, and keeps us from walking in foolishness.
There’s a saying I love: “Seek first to understand, and then to be understood.”
So often, I want validation for my frustration. I want people to agree with me, to tell me I’m right, and to justify my feelings. But when I only seek to be understood, my anxiety grows, and so does bitterness.
The truth is, hurting people hurt others. That doesn’t excuse bad behavior, but it reminds me that practicing understanding keeps me from being consumed with judgment and hate.
When I was married, I fell into this trap. I saw everything wrong with my husband’s behavior, aired my opinions to friends, and felt justified when they agreed with me. But my problems only grew. Those “friends” didn’t point me back to God’s Word—they simply sat with me in my anger. A true friend helps us become better people, not darker versions of ourselves.
Looking back, I wish I had chosen to talk directly to him, seek to understand, and own my part instead of running to others for validation. That foolishness contributed to my divorce, and let me tell you, that road is tough.
Today, if someone’s behavior frustrates you, resist the urge to just complain about them to others. Pray first. Talk directly if possible. Even if you can’t speak with them, practice understanding in your heart. And don’t forget to own your part too.
Proverbs 18:2 reminds us: “A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinion.” Don’t be a fool today. Choose wisdom, choose understanding, and choose peace.
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